hey alex, i dont know why he is being like that. and i dont mean any of my brothers.
why why why
i know i made a mistake of rather ignoring him during that day and iT WAS WRONG.

im trying to make amands but he dosent want to respond to my sms or what answering me coldly on FB.

ugh.
tell me whether all these is worth it. sigh, people tell me there are so many better ones out there and dont bother about the past but can I? fine, i think i know what. you are thinking that ever since i got that prize or that sch i became a different person? well you're wrong. i dont forget about the past and this is a case of my GOOd friend ignoring me.


i thought we were past that.
why are we not?
why?
i know we didnt go out or any of that sort but we always hung out in sch..
maybe im wrong about everything.

alex, tell me how... and i must not feel the pressure cuz its bad for me.
nows not the time, not the time at all. -----------.--------------
anyway, people tell me that he is behaving more like my bff than any other thing.
thats why he is jealous? COME ON! cant you see past the schools thing? SO WHAT IF WE ARE IN DIFFERENT SCHOOLS?

yeah this gives you an additional excuse to ignore me. I dont even know what your number is now.
why has things turned out to be like that.
why.

even the other has still kept in contact even if we are in different schools? I dont blame my class for having an unequal ratio of girls to boys cuz i landed in a class of all boys for my chinese class
and i think i will miss them? maybe miss the quiet peace, miss the sleepy atmosphere and the chance for me to speak up without being judged. or maybe i am being just that its not so bad? cuz their guys but u cannot be sure.. look at the case above.

from now on, I AM OFFICIALY in a girls school.
i might as well be asexual and reproduce by binary fission. ): nevermind. I must not think too much. the most i can do is to read and watch gossip girl? but i dont feel the same when i watch gg and korean dramas. the feeling is different. when the cast is feeling disappointed in gg, i dont really feel the sense of sadness unlike in taiwanese or korean dramas. WHY?

like in eng fiction? its as though there's no severity in anything. theres only one way to feel like it and its though the actual thing which will never happen or in dreams.
i seldom have any nowadays.
any good ones anyway. ever since sunday with that triple identity guy. (:
thats what i was showing off during our last pw meeting although i didnt get into details.

its that youcandeepbreathe kind of feeling.

alex, i think you can understand how i feel. maybe i should have gone to another school?
but that would not make things any easier.
the cold feet will still appear and i will be in the comfort zone. ---.----
gd but bad for the future.

arg. gtg. mourn over my disappointment
i can expect a i dont want anything to do with you kind of reponse.

):

yours sadly,
CHELLEST.