Heyy friends,
thought that is was time that i changed that depressing skin of mine.now is white and more positive right?
hehe dont bother looking at the last two posts that i posted. not really important. just no-sense thing. not worth listening to.

i must remind myself
not to cconstantly complain . life is much better with out it.
like how he keeps saying.
i can do it
right
.


at least somebody or people say that. at least in sch:) many people are out ther playing and im not one of the people in their group. but thats okay.
i can do it in other ways. dont worry .

like how i can imagine people walking down the streets. walking on the same path. gazing into each others eyes and smiling.
some people have the luxury to do that,
i dont think i need to . right alex?

my mother askd me if i wanted to marry you. guess what i said.
no thanks-you were not responsible enough,

speaking about you in past tense seems as though you are not there. but how real can you get?
again. people like us get disappointed. right jack?

people make mistakes- LIKE YOU AND VIOLETA AND MICHLELE that singer.
you do regret it. alex, rmb the time in flesh and blood- robin was jealous of that girl. saying you were to seduce her.

well. another mistake made. im supposed to be doing my english. right.
i guess i make mistakes too.
like how i scream and shout when im fed up.
i dont think they do that.
what we can expect of both of them is that they can go on with haarrneeymooning. SHOULD WE BOTHEr alex and jack??

lets ask the navy seals. they said not to bother.
actually, u know what i am really talking about?
i really dont like what they are doing.
seeing all those perfect couples in the world would just make you wallow in your sorrows and its just adding salt to the wound. do the wounds just multiply themselves?
i dunno. guess it just did.

mum said that it was correct and perfectly healthy and normal not to make you r male friend relationships in to a love one.

she is a superbly experienced person and i will never doubt her on this.
looking at the amount of controverseuy ( dunno how to spell) and resentment it creates. just tell them to stop it.
right in their face.

with that kind of disgusting things going on.
whos not going to bother.?! even if alex, you say that life is better ignoring them? YOUR So optimistic. jack? sigh. i have you on my table. so what to do?

rantings got to end somewhere.
let it go. . resentment is not going anywher.
POUND POUND POUND....... pound those feelings away.,
this new blogs purpose is just for the above line.
thank you for ur rapt attention.

i dont like this.
its every time in the holidays and i am disappointed yet again. asking me to go out with her and then she herself cant go?

sigh. i know that life is not all fair but at least if i can pay a visit to my dearest alexander and my anbc shop, i would feel abit better. all work and no fun? fun yeah. but i had some ....

mum says its peer pressure. everybody going out and all. father agreed to bring me out tomoro but how credible is he in the first place? heee
that oine i cannt voush for.

so many hitches and disappointments . like some friends i know getting a boyfriend helps them solve th8is horrible problem.

is it a problem or what?
more of a time waster. wasting more and more time, getting yourself into unnecessary trouble . waht a hasssle. i really dislike this kind of situation and its like the whole troupe of people marching together if we go but then thats why i dont like it. moments cannot be forced.

perhaps i just should drown in my world of combined humanities.

?heyy, its a long time since i posted this. writing in yellow now. Last post was what? December? Cool huh. but again. its not so cool now. so demoralised.

this year has been hard so far. usually i dont talk feelings on blogs. but well, i feel like breaking the rule now. XD

this exam has not been a total success but has for me a total failure. if im comparing.. IM always comparing. when am i not? to the past years. i think i rather go live in a mountain.
go hide away.

chinese exam in coming and i amhere posting. Vanessa probably has heard this A THOUSAND times from me in one variation or another. haha. sad case. she's probably the person who knows me quite a lot given being in choir and all. well i dont claim to be her confidante too!

like friends in this class. theyre quite nice. but sometimes because i find that there is an invisible wall that is hard to break through even if u stare into their eyes.
sigh life's like that.

im begining to sound like " DEPRESSIon " itself. well, dont u think i need alex delaware, my fav psych? you know what? his latest appearance is in compulsion. sigh. so nice.

changing the topic, i understand now why humans are the most complex beings. so totally astract and unpredictable. and they can influence each other . like how i see people getting the " magnetic INFLUX" by each other and sounding like each other. what a joke!

by the way, im not a fan of the word Jia you.
this is probably the coolest entry i had all along.

well, thats all. DEAR ALEX!!! when wil you appear?

...you will take my breath away.( ENG compre !)
.. yours truly,,

CHEllest.
towards Re-moralisation.