Saturday, March 19, 2011

Thank you dear Lord, You know just what I need. Thank You for giving me the chance today to speak at least that few words. Plus remembering antm that I could watch. Thank You again for helping me out. But I also will continue to pray that You will look after them in whatever they do and do not let them get out of hand dear Lord. That's why I feel that a limb is lost when another person leaves. I'm super sad. Please help me to manage my feelings when term 2 starts. I don't want to behave in an ugly manner when she is around. And I need to be nice and friendly to the new people that are coming in a days time. Eeeeps. Help me. These things are beyond my control and only You know what is going on and going to happen. I commit all things into Your hand. YAY. (:

Loving lots.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Heyzz. First time im doing a blog post via iPhone. No big deal here. I'm feeling rather disappointed with life right now. Seems that I'm finding lots of comfort in food and not wanting to so anything anymore. I'm also sad that my friends are going through all these. Why does it have to be a cas that things are always too good o be true. That peace always has to be broken? And fun always having to end? I'm tired of all these. Like even after exams I dont reallyget to max out enjoyment cuz of hindrances. Yeah I know that im not supposed to
lead a carefree life ( I think nobody does.) damn sian. Why must people
Be like that? Screw up themselves and all. I'm so sad that one by one they are leaving the workroom. Some ppl tell
me that they are unholy community and stuff so
I'm sad. With church friends I'm new and all so
I still fins it quite hard to break into their level. That's another consideration as well. Why is it that the friend I thought I could be good with turned everything around? As weeks went by I felt k morphing into another person. Eversince k left the school. I feel that he has become more withdrawn and acrimonious. I'm sad for k. But at the same time it's supposed to be for the better right? Then why did things go downhill from thy day onwards? I was stoned the next few days, then they got caught on wed. Fri results day. We met up on Tuesday and even Wednesday. And a few more unfruitful times. It seems that we are not meant to meet anymore. Why do things have to gonto this stage? I know the rest are not Of the same. So thats why I find it increasingly hard to hang out with them and play as we used to. This sucks. Seriously. I know God is doing things that make me sad but I know it's for the better. I know k has faults in speaking that way. I know. It's not like I don't. But why must things be made difficult for them? Why? I'm nor even them but I'm feeling so down for them. Ppl say that I shouldn't entrust my happiness on them but they have been my immediate friends for these few months. Even if we are vastly different we stil care for each other what. I guess it's cuz of how they are feeling thats why I feel bad for then. Like all children. Who doesn't like everyone to be happy with each other? I know ppl will say that we should lead our own lives but too bad I'm emotional and I feel for people. I'm just sad cuz it mo longer usd l be the time where wr just stayed back and marked in a group, playing badminton till late, then laughing lots. I think it's cuz I never had so much activities in a row before with jokers.


I find myself worried about things alot. I have God and my mum I know. But seriously I tell you. It's hard to even name some friends whom you have known so long to be friends of the heart. Maybe just me. I do think so. When I attempt to make some of my new friends one, things just fall apart after some golden ages. But looking back, I'm happy to have those past memories. Even if it's all that matters.



I dont know when we will ever speak again.
I'm tired.