alex, reacher! Arg. my throat is sandy and I am stuck here listening to the argument that irritating cfb is saying. I bet he is trying to cover up for his misdeeds. About that bloody girl. I can't stand her really. But I'm fortunate that she is not in my school cuz I will do some unthinkable thing, but not to you reacher, cuz you have done things worse. (: your latest is great, love your thoughts behind the investigation. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention griff burkett. !! Innocent man (: I wish you were around. (: smack some sense into that cfb cuz he is thickheaded! I bet you can bribe her into leaving. Get reacher to back you up and there you go. Get rid of all my problems. And mum's.

ALEX! JACK!

its been more than a month. been thinking about the roles i may play in future. ..... (: been reading about the ST kilda's consulting and i absoutely love JOE FAROE. he's like the new dillons savich. the more high tech, but no less family man. love them both to bits. joe is more undercover cuz he is not signed with the bureau. st kildas private, so its better than the bereau i guess. less red tape. Grace silva compared to lacey sherlock..
grace is fiercer. come to think of it, i dont know much about lacey though. ): I LOVE DILLON'S ABILITY TO CONNECT! you and that little girl autumn. your latest was absolutely fun.

lets talk about lowell's books. i am wrong about not wanting to read her books. if i didnt give it a chance, and read the wrong hostage, i WOULDNT have known st kildas at all. that is a great loss. )))):

i met a new guy today. from howard's book, cry no more. JAMES ALEJANDRO XAVIER DIAZ. <3
omgosh. you are just like reacher, just quieter and you have less gears grinding in up there! reacher thinks alot more. i love the way he explains his thoughts and the next move.
i didnt know you were a family man Diaz. (: surprised me there.


the ending to the book rocked totally. never had i seen an ending that didnt land the ICU, or a near death experience. this is FRESH! milla was wrecking the kitchen and what did you do? let her and next thing i knew you were out of the house buying a plates from a yard sale. mismatched but that was not whatever i expected (:

anybody who wanted to speak to you you turned up. just like reacher.
no strings attached.

let me make a list of the new loves:
1) Joe faroe- St kilda's consulting head
2)Rand McCree- you had your twin executed by Bartone.
3) Owen Walker- the ruby expert! you and the boating incident with that mad granny
4) Zach Balfour- with Jill Breck the river girl. The paintings!

The coldest: Reacher and Diaz.
The mushiest: Owen walker

omg i just realised that LINDA howards latest is out: death angel.

goooooooodnes..



bye guys,
gtg

love lots.
chelles.t

hey alex! Been thinking these few days, how it will be like to have a twin. A guy twin. Will he be like me? Or will we look the same? I guess we will be similar and I can't imagine a fat brother cuz none of them are fat. (: then what will he be doing when I'm writing now? Mayb he likes reading? Cuz gaming is not really an option here.. ah, or will he be like gabriel? Eating and eating but not growing any fatter. I'd be good if we were in the same school but in diff classes. then he will take up sports, unlike me and take physics. mum said we will surely fight. Unless he is really the soft kind of guy and give in.. (: but I don't think that will happen cuz look at all 4 of us, none of us are the real giving in type. if I had a twin sister, hm, wonder if she'll be like me? Eep! Don't like that. Woah later she's the thin fairer fairy girl I will give up living. The man charmer! eepp! but I don't think she will be like that. Cuz mum will not let that happen! (: now at least I dont have any sisters to fight with, like getting angry over minute things like hair bands or food. I get why I am living with these brothers. God saw the problem when I was young and gave me more boy siblings. mayb if I had a deviant twin who smoked, got tattoos and danced, then life will be totally different. Yeah, that's why all the other are younger. Can't imagine having an older sibling. Then will they be nice to me? But I think we will still fight if the age gap is close. sigh, life is not like sims, can't just shift click, add to household or move objects on and delete the sim away. Then we will have to need for marriage or death. jo is here alr. Gtg, say hi to the dog and robin for me.. (: miss you in sims cuz the whole neighbourhood file was corrupt. (: oh you must get to know the damonds better. You came to the party alisson damond organised remember? And everybody was tapping their feet waiting to eat in the kitchen... (: I love dou-joon damond. He is the cutest, in a jap way, sim I ever saw, slight hint of masculinity, lesser compared to henry damond. Ive damond, you better thank alisson and doujoon for making ambrosia to bring you back to life. I spent the whole afternoon and doujoon quit work just to max out the cooking skill. And I dug a hole in a ground to make a fishing pond just to catch the deathfish! Alisson did it for you. (:

Gtg, really. Love you, alex, jack and doujoon! Doujoon, you are the fist sim recognised here! After what, 2 years of sims gameplay? Btw I have dillon savich on my table. (: nights.


Love, chellest.

hey alex, i dont know why he is being like that. and i dont mean any of my brothers.
why why why
i know i made a mistake of rather ignoring him during that day and iT WAS WRONG.

im trying to make amands but he dosent want to respond to my sms or what answering me coldly on FB.

ugh.
tell me whether all these is worth it. sigh, people tell me there are so many better ones out there and dont bother about the past but can I? fine, i think i know what. you are thinking that ever since i got that prize or that sch i became a different person? well you're wrong. i dont forget about the past and this is a case of my GOOd friend ignoring me.


i thought we were past that.
why are we not?
why?
i know we didnt go out or any of that sort but we always hung out in sch..
maybe im wrong about everything.

alex, tell me how... and i must not feel the pressure cuz its bad for me.
nows not the time, not the time at all. -----------.--------------
anyway, people tell me that he is behaving more like my bff than any other thing.
thats why he is jealous? COME ON! cant you see past the schools thing? SO WHAT IF WE ARE IN DIFFERENT SCHOOLS?

yeah this gives you an additional excuse to ignore me. I dont even know what your number is now.
why has things turned out to be like that.
why.

even the other has still kept in contact even if we are in different schools? I dont blame my class for having an unequal ratio of girls to boys cuz i landed in a class of all boys for my chinese class
and i think i will miss them? maybe miss the quiet peace, miss the sleepy atmosphere and the chance for me to speak up without being judged. or maybe i am being just that its not so bad? cuz their guys but u cannot be sure.. look at the case above.

from now on, I AM OFFICIALY in a girls school.
i might as well be asexual and reproduce by binary fission. ): nevermind. I must not think too much. the most i can do is to read and watch gossip girl? but i dont feel the same when i watch gg and korean dramas. the feeling is different. when the cast is feeling disappointed in gg, i dont really feel the sense of sadness unlike in taiwanese or korean dramas. WHY?

like in eng fiction? its as though there's no severity in anything. theres only one way to feel like it and its though the actual thing which will never happen or in dreams.
i seldom have any nowadays.
any good ones anyway. ever since sunday with that triple identity guy. (:
thats what i was showing off during our last pw meeting although i didnt get into details.

its that youcandeepbreathe kind of feeling.

alex, i think you can understand how i feel. maybe i should have gone to another school?
but that would not make things any easier.
the cold feet will still appear and i will be in the comfort zone. ---.----
gd but bad for the future.

arg. gtg. mourn over my disappointment
i can expect a i dont want anything to do with you kind of reponse.

):

yours sadly,
CHELLEST.

stupid idiots.

hello alex, i was expecting tomorrow to be okay. BUT NO, we have to have somebody to come along to DESTROY the day. as though my day isnt going to be stressed enough without you. ---.--- you and your childish ways, i have to TOLERATE.
WALKING DOWN ORCHARD WITH YOU. wts.
you dont like shopping and always nag at us, next thing we know u take advantage of our kindness and start demanding for new things. WHY WHY WHY.

when mum says you can buy anything u like to eat u literally take it as though its a free ride and start bulldozing your way through the menu. IT SUCKS to be always on my guard and thinking ahead of u all the time. i cant really believe everything you say cuz i have not really gotten over last time. it seems that we older people are not so forgiving and not so able to forget, it seems.

I DREAD TOMORROW.
I HATE YOU TO COME TO DENTAL.

i forgot i have to pay up. yeah. i have to be civillised tomorrow and not get angry, SEE I HAVE TO CONTROL MYSELF and why should i be doing it on a fun day? why why why. SO ITS NOT FUN ANYMORE.
ugh, she thinks that i have gotten over it, but obviously NOT.
today u get new glasses, tomorrow you want to go out with me, I CANT STAND IT.


@#$%$#$%^$#$%


ARGH,
ALEx!!!!

hey alex. Tell me I can handle this.
Somehow why do I feel that x is blaming me for venting? Don't you care for how I feel? Yeah u may say that I have been the one for so many years getting most stuff and leaving the rest with almost nth. I guess since you have to focus on him so much then I shall take a breather. What's the point of being so nice when obviously your energy is spent on him? I don't get it. I don't like energy diversion you know that. Alex. Now. Come and get me and we shall go to l.a. And we shall feed the koi in your jap pond and things will be fine. No drama. No nth. Yeah we need to help him. When I'm ready for it. I need to xin li zhun bei for everything and as much and you think I'm an adult, I am still a child.

HEY ALEX. I AM FRRRRRIGGGGING PISSED.

with somebody. that IDIOT IS THE CANCER IN MY LIFE
FROM DAY ONE UNTIL NOW.
OMFG
I DUNNO WHAT I DID TO DERSERVE THIS. blasting stripper- soho dolls through the earphones. Love gossip girl. really. they provide a realistic dunno whats sense. too angry to describe anything.

really. IF U GET THAT DISGUSTING DISRESPECTFUL DUMB FRIENDS OF YOURS IN MY LIFE, I WILL BEHEAD YOU. you have caused so much trouble. after chinese a lvls UNTIL TODAY WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MAKE ME PROUD OF YOU. NOTHING NOTHING AT ALL. you have caused MISERY, ANGUISH, FRUSTRATION, and u have finally MURDERED ALL MY GOOD FEELINGS TOWARDS YOU. you revert back to the CFB you were before. ha. i remember that from ages ago. the CFB was written all over the place cuz i hated you so much.

you really force me to do that.
WE GIVE U CHANCE AND AGAIN YET U DONT OPEN UR EYES TO SEE WHATS GOOD FOR YOU. I DUNNO WHAT STOPPING YOU. MUST BE THAT GIRL. OMFG.
IF U MARRY HER I WILL DISOWN YOU.
I WILL.

you think that me being stern with ur freaking friends is a cause for concern? AFTER WHATEVER U SOLD AND STOLE. my tone of voice is NOTHING compared to that. AFTER SLEEPLESS NIGHTS. for mummy that is.
YOU DONT THINK FOR ANYONE EXCEPT YOURSELF. its disgusting self-absorbing and loser material. CUZ UR FRIENDS LIE FOR YOU U THINK THEY ARE GOOD? OMG
U ARE WRONG.
WAKE UP WAKE UP.
i cant do anything. mum cant either. we'l wait and see what God does.

by then, i think it will be too late.
the faster u climb the harder you fall. dont think you have everything now. the cloud of suspicion and distrust ALWAYS envelopes you. dont forget that. never forget that. that stigma will always be there. no matter how good you are on a particular day. just like Blair Waldorf. she dosent do anything which dosent benefit her. like scheming? luckily i didnt inherit that gene.
saying yeah people got gang MUST BE VERY SCARED OF THEM. then why the freak do you even associate with them? CANT U BE MORE DISCERNING? not that i dont open lines of communication. just when i think things are going fine YOU SHOW UR TRUE COLOURS. never spoken truer than a Bass. ( Bart Bass from Gossip girl. )
you make me SICK.
GO AND SAY WHATEVER TO MUMMY.dont think the years of damage u have done can be forgotten just like that.
people rememeber. I dont do blackmail. But i feel like doing it. (:
too bad i have school. if not. yeah. everyday on the phone, on the internet, on GOSSIP GIRL. ha. see if u can every say that I SUCK UP TO MUMMY. better watch ur words.
you irritate me everyday.

alls not forgiven.

morning alex. I can't sleeeeeeeep! Its 610 in the morning and all I can think about is sims! Thinking how I can make them live through extraordinary life. yesterday, ur kids allison and I forgot the guy's name went to school in cars. Their own! Damn cool. Then so far nobody has maxed the cooking, athletic, charisma and writing skill. But somebody is soon. so far I can't really make them go on dates cuz no expansion packS.):
Arg. Really hungry now. But nobody's downstairs and I thought I heard a burglar! hopefully not. Oh yeah. And kaymay and hyun jan junichi died alr. Damn sad. The family that was almost perfect. But dunno how come they broke up! That I don't understand. Through the sims gossip then I knew. ): but anyway, jean jan junichi also died. I Rmb her gardening in her undies ! She's the slimmest tan sim I created. Aiyo. I should create more and upload pics right?? (:


Gtg.

hey alex. I just feel that there are cancers in my life. very irritated by the stubbornness of people and their unwillingness to admit their Mistakes. Ahhh. Just saw u in sims fathering 5 kids! ((((: u were great. Ur fishing lvls are also quite high. just a waste that u can't really communicate through the com. If not..... (: I think I will be glued to the com the whole day. Felt sad today. That yeah he forgot. ok. My fault if he thinks I blew him off that day. Dunno why though I knew he was there but he didn't take the initiative to... Yeah. That's what's stopping me.. Guess I have to take a break, already am, from all those things. now I have to look around and appreciate those things I have and learn from new experiences. ! Wish u were here in replacement. Then maybe I will feel better. Instead of doing through taking care, it will be the other way around. But that will make me irresponsible, but at least, we have the same thinking, though we might be of diff countries. But we have adapted haven't we? People change. leave those lies, theft and anger behind. But I think I'm supposed to experience all these so that I will be wiser?? (: Haha perhaps alex. We all can be wiser. I gtg now. Please remind me to collect the banner.

love ,
Emily.

ARG. alex! help me out here.
now i have to submit a proposal for cp. like i have time to do it like that. i think i have to rush it out immediately after chinese exam. luckily not going bio olympaid if not i would have dieded by then.
sleepy and dizzy..
): and angry.

that woman is always pushing for this and that. and ALWAYS putting alot of pressure on us.
ok fine. i asked for it.
(:

alex alex alex. trying to think of questions and answer them myself. ----.-----
headache. today has been a rough day. found results interesting though.
dunno why all tht things have to clash and clump together.
argh.

no love from me today alex,,


just kidding. (:

alex, dunno whether what I'm thinking is right or not. ): feel confused. Just feeling like how ur mum ignores you for reasons you might not know. ): alone sitting on the bench facing the pond.. Waiting. Its nice and quiet but somehow u don't want to be left alone with ur thoughts. Its rather overwhelming. ): just to say hi alex, love lots.

hey alex!! I AM SO IRRITATED NOW.
I HAVE TO DO WR AND MY I AND R AND MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP. I HAVE SCHOOL TOMMOROW AND ON FRIDAY I HAVE TO DO MY I AND R. WHAT THE SHIT.


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i hate you alex.
(: i just wished some idiots will stop talking as though its their birthday and let me choose when the shit i want to go out and not fit ur DUMB schedule. as though u get 80 MARKS DAMN GOOD LIKE THAT. disgusting. COME HOME AND HAOLIAN. SAY PPL TRYING TO HELP U INSTEAD INSULT ME. 1@#$%@#$#@%#%@#%#@.
SAY put newspaper on the table with the birthdaycake
and i told him to shut up immediately.
insult me as though u damn good like that. i just wanted to like sing and cake and get it done and over with since i have NO time. so delay the damn outing lah.
like i did LAST YEAR. what the SHIT IS WRONG WITH THAT.
i hate hate hate hate hate YOU!!!

ugh alex.
i love u actually.
((:
i like that guy but found out that he was in a relationship. what the shit man.
(:


love, EMILY.

Heyyo alex! Guess where I am now? I am at the hawker centre drinking tao huay! Cool huh, free wireless. (: observations? A small round boy clad in a brought yellow tee sitting with his grandma and ordering drinks in hokkein, grannies out alone eating fried chicken and couples feeding each other. What a sunday morning. I see how the morning is so relaxed and un rushed even if you are in the marketplace. Here comes my food!

oh my god alex, I need to vent. Its early in the morning and I am rather upset. Going to have Pw later and that's the frustrating thing. I don't really look forward to it. U know, I made a mistake this morning by sending Omg, does she know we have Pw today to she! Like wth who does that right? But it was pure accident and knowing her cynical nature, I sent her another msg, saying, so Sry, do u know we're having Pw today? And she said I do know but u never told me the time and location. I know its my responsibility to do that but since u and I and not exactly bosom buddies anymore, then u could have asked me instead of waiting for me to get to you. Alex, u'd say that I should be the one and yeah, ur totally right. It slipped my mind until this morning. She could have asked jiang, and the rest too right? Yeah I'm defending myself... ): its just like u know there's hw but since u didn't come so u don't have to do or find out. Its the same attitude. Since she has her hou tai behind her so I guess she cannot swallow her pride and ask somebody, cuz this would mean admitting her ignorance. ugh, enough said. Love you alex, got to eat smth before I leave. (:

chellest.

yeah- as a continuation, I've seen quite a lot of changes this year, particularly to my friends . so alex, u know me best. (: have I made the right decision? I've seen such scenarios too many times over alr. you don't tell them something, it means uve broken their trust. But u can't expect them to tell u whatever thts going on cuz they're not obliged to. Anyway, your're just their tagalong right? my other friend-C and I have been waiting for u too long alr. We wait and push and push but nothing seems to be moving. either wait for them or out you go. So out we went. We didn't wait for them any more. So we won't have to wait, won't have to get an earful of their whines and their gossip. One simple event just broke up our relationship. I could see this coming, but it sucked to go through it
... Really. Wish u were there to shut their perverse lips. But u are not God and He should be doing that, not you. (: took some time to get used to it though. Rmb last time in pri6? With that childish going out and backstabbing? I don't want to go back there. I dug myself out and I don't want to go back in. Hmm. It takes a lot of courage to break away. Cuz u know they are loud, and there are 3 neutral parties which obviously will follow the loud ones. u know alex, I can blog till I don't feel like sleeping. Back to it. Yeah just as how a neutral sphere can be inducted, these ppl can also be swayed. I actually had quite a close friend. She was the friend I first went out with. I actually do know what we cannot really connect due to really diff backgrounds, but since she's okay, so I'm okay. I have nth against her, just a bit sad that she chose to go with them. Yeah she still talks to me but I know things will never be the same again. Like whatever they need, it will automatically be delivered to them in a single transaction. Well, its NOT like that for me. But yeah I realised more of myself after that. Stop believing that you are safe and secure with your friends who expect your every movement to be told to them. Its all just a smokescreen. It's fake and it will change you. I went out straight after papers for celebrations with them, started getting involved in birthday celebrations and gossiping like I never could. I never do all these. And why should I start doing it if I don't feel its right? Well, Values shouldn't be compromised because of friends. That is a rather hard lesson I learnt, Alex. U know that too huh? (: thanks for listening, love you.
yours truly,
chellest.

hey alex and jack, I owe you a long long long awaited apology. (: typing from my mobile. SORRY. ((((: today's been quite a day for me, having to attend the Pw workshop and having to present and ugh, the problems. Yeah. feel that I need ur advice Alex. I totally ignored you for the whole year. I know. No excuses. But what can u do if a pair does not want to break UP.?? This leaves you right in the middle and not knowing what to do. I have no idea why they love each other so much. They're underaged for goodness sake. Please tell me what to do? Mayb jack could do smth. ((: had my neck twitching just now. mayb I was too traumatIsed. So whatever. This is today. Having trouble with this device cuz it limits me to one page. ugh.

FRIGGING PIECE OF SHIT. the cam dosent work. THE LENS DOSENT COME OUT. ITS DAMN JAMMED.


dunno HOW COME THE pw thing is not uploaded. THEN I CANNOT DO THE THING NOW. HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL THE THING IS UPLOADED?
YEAH I CAN WAIT. yeah so last minute for WHAT. DUNNO THE VENUE EVEN CONFIRMED ANOT. LATER WE HAVE TO PLAN FOR ANOTHER THING. AND THEN I HAVE TO PAY FOR DENTAL FEES. AND I HATE IT THAT EVERYTIME THE CAMERA SPOILS MY OUTING. YESTERDAY NO BATTERY. PEOPLE NOT VERY COOPERATIVE. SHOP DIDNT SELL THE BATTERIES. SO WHAT IF U HAVE UR WALLET. TODAY I GOT MY CCA FRIENDS. BUT GUESS WHAT. THE LENS WAS STUCK. SO MUCH FOR THE MEMORIES MAN. LOOKS WHATS SPOILING IT. SO SORRY CAMERA THAT I HAVE TO HURL ABUSES AT YOU BUT I THINK YOU GOT TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

ITS SO DAMN ANNOYING THAT TIME IS SO LIMITED. I HATE TO LISTEN TO NAGGINGS AND I WANT PEACE BUT I DONT SEEM TO BE FINDING IT AT ALL. VIBES EMANATE FROM THE 4 CORNERS. SIMS 3 ADVERTISEMENTS FROM THE PASSING BUSSES TEMPT ME INTO THINKING ABOUT THE OTHER SIDE. THE NEVERENDING SALES FROM STORES THAT GET ME UPSET AND INFERIOR.

HOLIDAYS ARENT THAT FUN AFTER ALL.
TIME FOR YOURSELF? THINK AGAIN.
ALL YOU GET IS TO SLEEP LATE, WATCH SOME TV AND WAKE UP LATE.
YEAH ITS GOOD ENOUGH, BUT IT CAN BE BETTER.

SO MANY THINGS TO DO.
AND IM SO UPSET. I THOUGHT ABOUT THE WORDS MY FRIEND SAID BEFORE.
"THE OTHER FRIEND WOULD BE A GOOD PRESIDENT. "

AND PAUSE AND THINK ABOUT IT.
THEN I AGREE AFTER A WHILE.

ITS ANNOYING TO THINK THAT THEY ARE SUPPORTIVE OF SOME ONE AND TREAT THEM SO DAMN NICE CUZ THEY ARE NICE?

YEAH I KNOW THAT GIRL IS NICE BUT U DONT HAVE TO SAY IT IN MY FACE. YEAH I MAY NOT TELL YOU HOW I ACTUALLY FEEL BUT ITS RATHER INSENSITIVE TO SAY THAT.

LIKE I KNOW U ARE APPLYING FOR SECRETARY BUT I DONT SAY : I THINK THE OTHER GIRL MAKES A GREAT SECRETARY. U GET WHAT I MEAN.

SOMETIMES I AM RATHER SENSITIVE AND I KNOW IT. BUT WHEN IT ALL COMES TOGETHER AND SNOWBALLS. YOU GET THAT EFFECT. THE FEEL LIKE THROWING UP EFFECT.

I DONT REALLY BLAME YOU IN FACT. I AM EXPLOSIVE AND NOT VERY NICE AT TIMES THEN WHY DONT U FOLLOW HER INSTEAD MAN. why bother being with someone when others are better?

I JUST DONT GET YOU. this has nothing to do with whatsoever student council. this is cca matters.
ITS BEEN A RATHER MISERABLE DAY FOR ME.
AGONY, GO AWAY. (:


EVEN THOUGH I SPOKE TO OUR FRIEND, I STILL DIDNT FIND THE COMFORT IN DOING SO. MAYB ITS NOT RIGHT AFTER ALL. (:
SOMETIMES THINGS ARENT MEANT TO BE. JUST WANT TO COLLAPSE AND GO INTO THE FICTICIOUS WORLD OF JACK REACHER <3 and ALEX.
where i dont have to listen to screams, shouts, and whatever else.
just the world where comfort exists and you get on with life.
where people really support you without having to divert their attention too much.
where i can make sense of what i am doing and forsee the consequences.

THIS IS THE PERFECT WORLD. which would never exist.

gtg friends.

heyhey. alex and jack, watch. this post will be to the ex-NJ photog guy i met today for the interview. (:

although i might not really know ur name, but thanks for giving me those enlightening information about the past. ..... really good speaking with you. engaging too. ur interesting. one of the few people that will open up to people not really familiar yet. but thats okay. on the trip back with mr neo., that guy that reminds me of my uncle, i found that few minutes really unique. unlike other trips where i'd be SO STONING away. ........ i probably wont meet you again, thats one of the reasons i chose not to ask for ur contact. but thats okay. good things must end and i thought it should be this way. (:

yeah good things come like that for me i guess. no long term fun. if thats my life i will lead it this way. just how its meant to be.

THANKS AGAIN MY FRIEND, JIA YI I THINK. (: i rmb ur name as a real girly name.


love lots,
yours truly,
CHELLEST.
mayb i would see you outside. .. mayb not again.

i have to say this. been wanting to say this for a long long time. (:

tribute to my ex class.

lets see. lets start. when i go to school everyday....
1. i think of suchang on the bus. i dont see her anymore.
2. i wish i had a classroom. a proper one. i dont like homerooming. no sense of belonging at all.
3. I wish we had a proper place to put our bags before we went for assembly.
4. i miss vanessa and the people who come early to class.
5. when i go for lessons. i sit beside different people from my class. ( not a good thing )
6. When i dont get something during class, it is difficult to understand cuz the teacher rushes.
7. I miss recess. like at a proper time and i miss mass refilling water bottles when benedict or glen does it for us.
8. The teachers are different.
9. I miss going home like the past.
10. I miss sitting beside our friends during recess.
11. I miss calling them when i dont know how to do something.
12. They would have the assesstment book i have so its convenient.
13. I miss doing homework and discussing things with them.
14. I miss our teachers staying back and teaching the things i dont know.
15. I miss my green 4e6 t shirt.
16. I miss calling for every minute thing in questions and discussing them.
17. I miss swiss uniform.
18. I miss eating in class. now that i dont have one in the first place.
19. I miss having textbooks tht everyone has.
20. I miss the swiss school song.
21. I miss the familiarity of the school.
22. I miss seeing kelvin and zhen hao playing chess in class.
23. I miss remedials and staying back cuz i can talk to them.
24. I miss choir and my choir friends, xinzhi rachel and sherlyn. i even miss mdm choo.
25. I miss the smell of the choir room. (:
26. I miss my notebooks and i miss mdm ong. I still remember her saying for set inequalities , you have to put it in set notation. SET.
27. I miss exams in class. having to sit right at the back then having my own corner. i can look out of the class and see the MRT.
28. During spa i think of my spa friends Glen, yongqiong and suyi. I miss sitting with them and asking them what to do.
29. I miss my PE teacher and doing rugby for many consecutive months.
30. I miss Physics and i get to ask questions and teacher wont think im so SLOw.
31. I miss history, stalin and social studies. the cold war and globalization that i spent so much time on.
32. I wish i had my class back.
33. I miss mrs yu. although she might not always notice me but shes quite nice. and friendly.
34. I miss Mrs koh for teaching me bio. mr seow is also nice.
35. but of all 34 things, i miss my close friends the most. although there might be some backbiting but i feel that we had done many things together and now that will cease.
36. I miss sec 3 when i can collect wallets.
37. I miss the weekly tests.
38. I think of speech day and the feeling of it.
39. I miss piano. alot. and it will cost me $300 monthly for me to continue.
40. I miss the funny people in class.
41. i miss jing ting sitting behind me. no news from her anymore.
I shall stop here.
.
.
.
.
.
i cant seem to let go of the past.

yours in memories,
CHELLEST.

Yo. let me start with my cp article first.

okay. i have finished my cp article.

The annual road run of 2009 was here again! With the special arrival of the guest of honour, Mr Heng, President of NJC Alumni and from the Class of 1969, this event marked the beginning of NJC'S 40th anniversary. Unlike most school events, students from JH1 to SH2 formed a myriad of colours, sitting in their houses. Their enthusiasm was infectious and the atmosphere buzzed with excitement. Soon enough, the JH1s kicked started the race and cheers rang out. The support from the Marshalls were unwavering, spurring runners to complete the race.


okay. its done. nurmatha can complete. it.

hey hey Jack and alex!!! its the end of CNY. i loved the first day and enjoyed the second but there was a spoiler. really. like the middle ofit. like someppl gave others something that is not so nice viewed in front of everyone. especially when uhave that kind of edge. badbadbad.. listen!!! its I TOUCH THE SUN. love love love. alex and jack accompany me today? everytime i go to bed with a heavy <3.>

badbadbad
unhealthy
itmakesmerestless.
but what can i do?

"you will always hear me call" Will i ever? im not sure. " I TOUCH THE SUN" i feel like doing that. and spread the love of the suns rays to the people I SO VERY MUCH LOVE. trying to be sarcastic u know alex. u sure know. u would be asking why i am expresing myself this way. the predicted answer? "Feeling unhappy? " Haha. love u lots. really. im being sincere okay.

sure i am. thats why im blogging.i guess thats why i pretty much use blogger. together with house mixes. <3

i dont quite enjoy that feeling. "SHOW ME THE WAY" show me the way to lose that feeling?
badbadbad. i dont think anybody would really understand unless they have been marginalised that way. THATS EXACTLY HOW I FEEl. marginalized. i got that word out doctor. really. see?> im becoming like eric Doss. terriible.

" LEAVE YESTERDAY BEHIND." can i? like how people say sleep does it. Does it do , doctor? i think the standard answer is " DO you think" but im not ur client doctor. u know me !! (:

" Light up my day. no more tears and im unbroken. " LOVE LOTS DOCTOR.

yours truly,
CHELLEST.

ps the song is flashlight by darren styles. <3

todays the first day of cny. !!! xing nian kuai le!! today i met some interesting and intruguing people. realy i didnt know i had them as cousins. or extended cousins. they like didnt talk to me for the last few cnys but it was different somehow this year. i know somethings wrong with my brain and ive been watching too many shuai guys on taiwanese dramas like the Jiro and those guys from fahrenheit. ....heheee. i know i must not. must not..... this is bad. bad.. the rising feeling of the bad!!! its coming to take me over!! mayb its the dark nails. haha. and the hair. i dunno. dont want to know either. (: gtg now. cant stay to say to much. ALEX AND JACK I KNOW UR THERE!! (: love lots. really. love ur thoughts alex, and the phrase about the candy land. the people are allowed to have a sweet life. DAMN GOOd. hit the nails right on the head. <3>

jack, see you soon.
love lots
YOURS TRULY,
CHELLEST. <3

hello friends!! here i am at 10. 41 pm writing. well. weird huh, but i just completed painting half my balcony, which is the size of what, two master bedrooms stacked up. damn large. (:
well, decided to remove the damaged nail polish. so pearly pink but what can i do anyway? haha. cuz of the white paint-base coat. and that door paint- banana yellow. (: going to let my nails see the light for awhile!! hello nails!!(: nice to meet you again.

hey hey alex and jack!! not seen you in quite some time already. actually not that true. i have seen you but just not spoken to you yet. not that u can respond just like that. but through the books i have ur response. feeling rather uptight now. that shoulders of mine. i bet u dont have shoulders that ache so easily right, jack? like u could carry bags of cement of that man that carries garden soil? and while u worked for the swimming pool company digging those? i bet u didnt break out in a sweat. that six five size of urs is sure useful!!! haha. you should join the tall club in america really. like i saw it on channel 70. home and health, this club is full of TALL people. like you. six five, six four. and even seven seven!! amazing right? (: but anything above 7 feet is not normal genetics. usually there is a problem with the pituitary gland. the blueberry thing at the base or near the hypothalamus? haha, it hangs just below the optic nerve. so when it swells, it would press again the optic nerve and thats when problems start to arise. but when the tumor grows on the pituitary gland, it would start producing lots of growth hormones. but also when u grow too large, the bones of ours would suffer. and our spine too. its crushing them. our heart would start straining to accomodate those extra parts and our organs would work overdrive too. thats when its bad. ..... but they said the normal height for women is about 5 four. so am i like below average?? sigh. i just need one more inch! (:


can u crack ur neck alex? i havent seen you do that before. real nice looking into ur past. really would like to know whats going on with that client of urs the Stacy Doss girl. dont quite like her. really. what if she starts... adoring you? i know thats slightly insane but u know, anythings possible. (:


yeah. some random stuff now. u know that show ISWAk. all initials, i like how that guy says SHUT UP to the people staring at his F class. (: its like Sse-art up. nice nice nice. (: hes JIRO by the way. im not those tou hao fans kind of thing but give the guy credit right? (:

yoyo. gtg now. (: blurry visions all mine. good night alex and jack!!! <3

yours truly,
CHELLEST!!
ps. i signed my brothers spelling book today (:

yo. to all the ravers out there. HIXXY is the best. (: for remixing that is. like the song game zaboocon. it rules. ultimate cute like pacman!! the song now that i found you is quite nice too. listening to it now. (:
like having a club going on in my head just that minused all the noisy people and drinks. alex and jack, u like club music too? i dont know actually. but junichi, i know u like jazz., like piano jazz Midori plays. u love her dont you? yeah i know. (: i think she would know that and not just forget you. dont worry.
i didnt know darren styles is like 30 plus years old. thats so old. ): his songs are like nice.but a bit emo. what i like is getting better. damn hardcore. like the beats are TOTALLY FAT. fat fat fat. hixxy gives a nice atmosphere. go youtube it. really. the atmosphere is like surround. and soothing. in a house mix way. nice nice. but there are some really weird songs.like some beatboxing at the background. i dont quite like those cuz the atmosphere is lost. yeah. i dont think rap is really fit for techno? but thats an opinion only (;
but throughout the clubland tunes, the common thing among them is that they have this steady beat. in the normal tunes. but for those xceptional ones, they have the varied background. then there comes this part when it starts to solo the background tune. REMIXED. uber cool. (: then its like so smoky. and i love remixes of the same song. like disturbia? i guess ive heard at least 15 of them. on piano included. i have tried it out actually. quite fun. try the piano cover. like playing over the song. its such a challenge and sometimes you try to hum along and the music loses you. so u lose the piano too!! hah so funny.
actualy many people dont like club tunes cuz i think its noisy to them and the atmosphere sounds like noise. but thats okay actually. i think ppl like my mum like music where there is no electronic beats and its not so structured. like theres room for expression. i think thats why ppl love other kind of music. (:
u know? those classical tunes like vivaldi- I LOVE!! its rather extreme. i know (; but thats weird cuz i play the piano. so its like both sides exposed. haha im raving at this age. i think i can open a club in my house with the collection of songs i have. jkjk. i dont have the $$ haha. (:
ive been trying to find the clubland xtreme hardcore 5 cd. but have failed repeatedly. i know if i go overseas i can probably find this. but like in that cd shop, hmv, sembawang- all dont have stocks of that. well. i think its probably marketed in the us or europe i guess. lucky them.
like i know most of the clubland tunes are MINT and choon. so like finding outside cds which are allegedly dance is futile. (: haha high standards clubland sets.

dont know what ill be doing tomorrow. mayb go onto the com and blog again? mayb ill switch subjects tomoro. talk about kimmidolls? haha. or pineapple tarts? since cny is coming.

omg
i love the smell of my brother. @#$ nice. the baby smell. mmm.

gtg now.
love lots,
CHELLEST!

heyy. i just bought 5 different nail polishes. LOVE THEM. Here's for doll&Logan. number two.

enter scene-Kimmi and Logan were on the sidewalk. Kimmi being slightly embarrased.

Kimmi was on her way to school and she was dressed in a Chloe sundress. She looks at her painted intense coral nails. She always does that when she is nervous. so Logan smiles up at her and asks if they should go to school together. (: man thats nice.

lets think fanatasy number one. lets try dinner. or something nice that we or lets say I dont have in singapore. choose the guy. Logan cresswell from, the a list. so. lets say he was my childhood friend. i sound like anna percy. this is baad.b ut anyhow! lets say logan bumps into the girl, Kimmi when she is walking to school. like face on bump. with his six-one frame and her 5.3 height, she collides into him. wow. so kimmi is embarrased with her cheeks staining red. she thinks-this must be embarrsing. but no. instead of lecturing her or swearing, gentleman Logan gives her a dashing smile and apologizes instead. double wow. (: man. this is like a scene in my head. haha. this inadvertently turned into a fantasy series. (: lets call it doll&Logan. since kimmi's last name is Doll and.. logan, logan. (:

let me eat one bite of my food first. havent had anything since 6 hrs ago. (: should we contnue the doll&Logan thing? or lets start with their friends.

continued-
logan looks down at the doll like girl infront of him. with hair cropped short, framing her heart shaped face, he gives a smile at her. she looks up. she takes a step back, as though being burned by him. Logan turns around. Looks at his friends, Seth and Jack. ( not jack reacher). they kept their distance from him, half wondering what he just had encountered.
Kimmi brushed off the hair covering her eyes. She looked at him and muttered " Sorry". Logan waved it off and offered his hand. " Logan. " He introduced himself with a smile. Shyly. She took it. He had callused hands, like from playing a sport long term, she noticed.
- End for now.

OMG. i can never ever do this!!! this is just too insane. like logan. where on earth would this kind of opportunity present themself infront of you? haha onyl in books. but u get ur heartbroken too. really. Kimmi would meet one challenge real soon. haha it definitely involves logan. (: how about they go on a trip together ? but all these looks too plastic. in reality people would just swear and push past you. (: what rubbish.


gtg now.
love, Chellest

feeling ultra fed up for dunno what reason. i think i didn t eat and i could not shop longer. like who would want to go out with me? like my mum is with those babies. and who i have to go out with?? this is sucky man. HORRIBLE. sry. ALEX AND JACK MAYB you could go out with me sometimes? im dead bored. and like stuck at home witht eh boring boring com? like duh. i rather go out and walk man.

heyya. this is morning that i am bloggin, im rather unhappy though. its like most of the times i am unhapy? why? alex!! do u have any idea why? jack too. i know i said something unsensitive agin. but this is like aways sucking. SORRY to the guy. what i meant wasnt what i meant saying it out. i know u rlife is very fufilled but i know it came out wrong. i dont like giving excuses. but anyhow (: sry again. i dont like feeling guilty. but thers no choice again. everytime i say something iin front of our friend here it like OFFENSIVE. so i guess i'll shut up always. never speak when in doubt of what the person would say. my motto. (: okay? yeah i guess whis shoud work unless questions are asked. later chinese new year later somebody accuse me of showing off. im always receiving that. really. its said that never to show ur feelings in public but that can never happen. not to me anyway. like in sec3 how many times i have that face. come on luh.. (: i dont like dont like dont like.
im printing this in blue cuz it shouldt have been posted anyway. but anyhow., i have to tel u a&J. mayb i f i had hut my mouth it would hav been better. like leave the conversaton alone. !@#$%^& haha

i thought that the last post was too long already. A&J. i think its all bottled up anxiety. but i should make it go. or why not u alex? pscy and all. (: helpmeyeah. gogogogogo. canidoit?sureican. (: just like im soooo comfortable with it. u know what i mean. like they grouping and all. so our friend was gushing on meeting them and all. what if our friend does actually. so thats all? finished.? and forgotten about those years? man. this is super sad. like an ending like this. this is bad bad bad bad bad. wont think about this okay? (: yeah i wont. like get on with life? yeah
SO GET ON WITH IT. kimmi would support me? (: a&j would u too?go kimmi go. go snatch go. but people would say that our friends are not that. so why bother? i cant not bother really. this is like INNATE. cant ignore it.like the lost remote? i still cant get over it. nutnutnut. (: can imagine the jubilation on our friends faces when they cross.ay ay ay. there would be the trio. subbing me. a and J u can get what i mean. u like live in my face!! its okay. love u lots anyway.
gtg now.
YOURS TRULY,
EM. CHELLEST!

hey. im actually unsettled. a&J. how? this is insane again. what happens if i think our friends would like cross paths? this is unnerving. imagine the mixture. man!!! cannot. please help? today i met a french woman who was a psychologist. in the 190 bus. she was carrying loads of cold storage bags today. haha. she was quite nice actually. told my mum and i that she would actually give us her card but she had her hands full of stuff. she had french clients. so cool. i bet u could speak french JACK. alex i know u can speak latin. (: love lots.
yeah. back to the original talk. so. i actualy cannot do anything. this is like they are going to the same sch and i am not ther actually. well? alex. what u go there and use a bulldozer to force them apart? not so drastic i think. lets ask yoshi!!! My new kimmidoll. bought it from taka today. beside mac. in the gift shop. left a few. and i bought a kimmi wallet. Love!! get one for u too? just joking.
feeling tired. but like how? like if our friends do cross, then like our friend would GUSH with FERVOUR AND ENTHUSIASM. JUST HOW I LOVE IT. itryandtrytowalkaway...
GO MAN. REALLY HOW THIS WOULD WORK OUT. try try try. go go go. I FULLY SUPPORT YOU. andyouractions. surely collaborations would occur and i cant prevent this. its like out out out out out of my range totally.

heyhey. its after results and now is posting!!! WHOOOo.where am i going to go? (: aayyy.
listening to true believer, clubland14. its damn nice.and i just changed my blog skin to this stripy thing. i think easier is better. not so complicated and messy. im feeling rather messy now? (:
actually. no more friends for me! like we are going to everywhere different. how to meet anymore? ): so sad.
and like this is so bad. so unfriendly. FRIENDS!!!i think u know what i am talking about. this is SO UNDESERVED. i dont think i can forget this. not for a long long long long time. (: im sensitive u know? dont u get that after 2 years? like duh.
but its okay again. like ppl tell me that yeah paths wont be crossed again, but i dont quite believe in that and neither do i in love. haha that was random. (: it does have many flaws .. hee yeah. (: tomoros a school day. and i have to decide. thats on a nother separate topic. again. JACK AND ALEX!!!! love u lots. this love is different okaaay.

so how? are u glad? (: having accompanied me for 4 years. uve seen everything. really.
from choir to results. and after till now. still writing to u on my com. dont wry i wont forget you. i dont think u would do this to me right? (: JACK, i cant stand calling ur name reacher. its so unlike you. i love personal u know? ur bro is more fit to be reacher.. really. (: but anyhow u are as good. !!!! (: (: jack and alex i think u are sensitive people too right? jack is ultra sensitive. like knowing when ppl will have their next move. alex!! ur psy. so u can do it too. SIGH. thats why u are my friends!! jack, ur sitting on my shirt on the floor. (: ill read you after doing anna percy in the a list. okay? how bout that?
yeah another thing. like how ours do? so sad dont u think so? like doing 180. totally gone. as though the years werent there. i know. ur going to say i totally expected this. EM!!! u could have preempted this!! yeah, SRY. but like as usual. i dont doubt first u know. unlike both of you!! haha. teach me more yeah....(:
going to another school is...... like that. accompany me there would you? (: making friends should be hard for you. wth ur looks and all. what about me? how u think i would fare? (: tip me again yeah?
feeling slightly tired now. are you tired people??? (: poor jack . you always sleep on the floor. shall i put you in a slightly comfier place? like i know u forced them to give u mattresses during without fail and that girl holly jackson had it good. (: i dont really like her but i admit, she has guts. like having the father as the general am i right?

coming back to the troublesome issue. but wait. i bought damn ex chocs today.
of course not for me!!! i wont spend so much on eatables. mayb not now. for you ? maybe. but you probably can afford it by urslf. like DUHH. alex u like retired at 26. thats damn great. and u can run!! so unlike me. i think you'd probably call me unhealthy and drag me to run with you (: what about jack? aiya dont talk about him. junichi then. FUJIWARA!!!! i miss you. really. u can do pull ups on the door jam. eeeeeks. i cant. i think u d confiscate all the nice nice food and eat them urself!!!!!! alex u probably would feed it to blanche. i miss her too. (: ALEX I HAVE U IN MY HOUSE!!!!!!! omg i forgot. sry srysry. in dr. death? i hope i dont make u another deadline. haha. i just need fujiwara to complete!!! are u holding back?( haha part of lyrics. )

how people? now that john rain( aka fujiwara) is here. cheer me up would you? (: its not easy u know. like robin leaving you, alex. and whats that girl, jade something-jack and that isreali girl the spy i forgot her name. saddddd. u know. but its okaay. you heal right? ur guys. and im a guy too? or what? hee. hmmm. one day. we shall go to.... wheres good? rain- japan, alex- b.h., and reacher, around the world? since u dont stay anywhere? (; or why not u come over. thats good too. gg now

nights
LOVE LOTS.
EM.

guess what. i actually hate this smile smile thing blog skin. so un-me. (: so im going to change it.

heyya!, alex and jack! (: its 3rd jan already.
waiting for the hana kimi to load. its taking quite a while.....duh. like its youtube. and its on a saturday!!
guess what. im still going insane over the extraction doc. cant stand it. (: i did ext. on monday. and the best thing happened to me! well, only half i guess.
he was damn nice man. like so wen rou. so unlike me. hee. but what can i do?
wish i knew his name so i could facebook him. (: be my friend,, right right?
i think i want to be a dentist. when i grow up. (: but not all dentists are nice again.

alex! i still cant understand you. even the jokes u tell hav to be uncoded. insane.
jack! let me guess. what are u doing in nothing to lose? strolling along roads again? (: ur so unpredictable yet predictable. i know u hate that. mayb i shall be ur assistant one day? but that would definitely tie u down to responsibilities. ill be ur liability? that wont be too comfortable for u i guess. no im definite about that. even leon garber's house u dont want. what about ur mum;s house in paris? i guess joe sold it off. (: predictability yeah?
even if u didnt say, i could guess it outright. im of course no match for you. (: and i want it to stay that way.

u know ive been trying to find more of such books but it seems that when sch reopens for the babies i hav to stay home most of the time. like hibernating? u hibernate with me yeah?(:
but id like to go cycling. actually, ive not seen you riding a bike before. motorcycle also not. alex? what about you? cars, yes. especially those chevys or whats that ford thing. (: and blanche!!! ur dearest dog. hope i can meet her one day. and robin too. the only time i meet you is in sims. and that is not everyday okay. ur stuck in pleasantville, the most populated places ive been. and i see u and ur orange shirt quite some times when i go downtown too. you drink!! robins now robin traver, sry about that robin. cuz now shes back with you. (: thats good.

mitch bianchi- uve settled down already with claire, im glad for you. (: and u have a gay daughter. thats disgusting but sorry about that again. shes leesa and shes damn smart. like almost maxed out most of the bars. im sure shell make it great next time. u want me to buy u a helicopter in compensation? i have a helipad wating for you!!


heyhey guys, i gtg now. real sorry. but ill text you again via phone or com. be waiting? (: hope to meet you again, outside. lve u lots!!

yours truly,
CHELLEST!