hey alex, i dont know why he is being like that. and i dont mean any of my brothers.
why why why
i know i made a mistake of rather ignoring him during that day and iT WAS WRONG.

im trying to make amands but he dosent want to respond to my sms or what answering me coldly on FB.

ugh.
tell me whether all these is worth it. sigh, people tell me there are so many better ones out there and dont bother about the past but can I? fine, i think i know what. you are thinking that ever since i got that prize or that sch i became a different person? well you're wrong. i dont forget about the past and this is a case of my GOOd friend ignoring me.


i thought we were past that.
why are we not?
why?
i know we didnt go out or any of that sort but we always hung out in sch..
maybe im wrong about everything.

alex, tell me how... and i must not feel the pressure cuz its bad for me.
nows not the time, not the time at all. -----------.--------------
anyway, people tell me that he is behaving more like my bff than any other thing.
thats why he is jealous? COME ON! cant you see past the schools thing? SO WHAT IF WE ARE IN DIFFERENT SCHOOLS?

yeah this gives you an additional excuse to ignore me. I dont even know what your number is now.
why has things turned out to be like that.
why.

even the other has still kept in contact even if we are in different schools? I dont blame my class for having an unequal ratio of girls to boys cuz i landed in a class of all boys for my chinese class
and i think i will miss them? maybe miss the quiet peace, miss the sleepy atmosphere and the chance for me to speak up without being judged. or maybe i am being just that its not so bad? cuz their guys but u cannot be sure.. look at the case above.

from now on, I AM OFFICIALY in a girls school.
i might as well be asexual and reproduce by binary fission. ): nevermind. I must not think too much. the most i can do is to read and watch gossip girl? but i dont feel the same when i watch gg and korean dramas. the feeling is different. when the cast is feeling disappointed in gg, i dont really feel the sense of sadness unlike in taiwanese or korean dramas. WHY?

like in eng fiction? its as though there's no severity in anything. theres only one way to feel like it and its though the actual thing which will never happen or in dreams.
i seldom have any nowadays.
any good ones anyway. ever since sunday with that triple identity guy. (:
thats what i was showing off during our last pw meeting although i didnt get into details.

its that youcandeepbreathe kind of feeling.

alex, i think you can understand how i feel. maybe i should have gone to another school?
but that would not make things any easier.
the cold feet will still appear and i will be in the comfort zone. ---.----
gd but bad for the future.

arg. gtg. mourn over my disappointment
i can expect a i dont want anything to do with you kind of reponse.

):

yours sadly,
CHELLEST.

stupid idiots.

hello alex, i was expecting tomorrow to be okay. BUT NO, we have to have somebody to come along to DESTROY the day. as though my day isnt going to be stressed enough without you. ---.--- you and your childish ways, i have to TOLERATE.
WALKING DOWN ORCHARD WITH YOU. wts.
you dont like shopping and always nag at us, next thing we know u take advantage of our kindness and start demanding for new things. WHY WHY WHY.

when mum says you can buy anything u like to eat u literally take it as though its a free ride and start bulldozing your way through the menu. IT SUCKS to be always on my guard and thinking ahead of u all the time. i cant really believe everything you say cuz i have not really gotten over last time. it seems that we older people are not so forgiving and not so able to forget, it seems.

I DREAD TOMORROW.
I HATE YOU TO COME TO DENTAL.

i forgot i have to pay up. yeah. i have to be civillised tomorrow and not get angry, SEE I HAVE TO CONTROL MYSELF and why should i be doing it on a fun day? why why why. SO ITS NOT FUN ANYMORE.
ugh, she thinks that i have gotten over it, but obviously NOT.
today u get new glasses, tomorrow you want to go out with me, I CANT STAND IT.


@#$%$#$%^$#$%


ARGH,
ALEx!!!!

hey alex. Tell me I can handle this.
Somehow why do I feel that x is blaming me for venting? Don't you care for how I feel? Yeah u may say that I have been the one for so many years getting most stuff and leaving the rest with almost nth. I guess since you have to focus on him so much then I shall take a breather. What's the point of being so nice when obviously your energy is spent on him? I don't get it. I don't like energy diversion you know that. Alex. Now. Come and get me and we shall go to l.a. And we shall feed the koi in your jap pond and things will be fine. No drama. No nth. Yeah we need to help him. When I'm ready for it. I need to xin li zhun bei for everything and as much and you think I'm an adult, I am still a child.

HEY ALEX. I AM FRRRRRIGGGGING PISSED.

with somebody. that IDIOT IS THE CANCER IN MY LIFE
FROM DAY ONE UNTIL NOW.
OMFG
I DUNNO WHAT I DID TO DERSERVE THIS. blasting stripper- soho dolls through the earphones. Love gossip girl. really. they provide a realistic dunno whats sense. too angry to describe anything.

really. IF U GET THAT DISGUSTING DISRESPECTFUL DUMB FRIENDS OF YOURS IN MY LIFE, I WILL BEHEAD YOU. you have caused so much trouble. after chinese a lvls UNTIL TODAY WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MAKE ME PROUD OF YOU. NOTHING NOTHING AT ALL. you have caused MISERY, ANGUISH, FRUSTRATION, and u have finally MURDERED ALL MY GOOD FEELINGS TOWARDS YOU. you revert back to the CFB you were before. ha. i remember that from ages ago. the CFB was written all over the place cuz i hated you so much.

you really force me to do that.
WE GIVE U CHANCE AND AGAIN YET U DONT OPEN UR EYES TO SEE WHATS GOOD FOR YOU. I DUNNO WHAT STOPPING YOU. MUST BE THAT GIRL. OMFG.
IF U MARRY HER I WILL DISOWN YOU.
I WILL.

you think that me being stern with ur freaking friends is a cause for concern? AFTER WHATEVER U SOLD AND STOLE. my tone of voice is NOTHING compared to that. AFTER SLEEPLESS NIGHTS. for mummy that is.
YOU DONT THINK FOR ANYONE EXCEPT YOURSELF. its disgusting self-absorbing and loser material. CUZ UR FRIENDS LIE FOR YOU U THINK THEY ARE GOOD? OMG
U ARE WRONG.
WAKE UP WAKE UP.
i cant do anything. mum cant either. we'l wait and see what God does.

by then, i think it will be too late.
the faster u climb the harder you fall. dont think you have everything now. the cloud of suspicion and distrust ALWAYS envelopes you. dont forget that. never forget that. that stigma will always be there. no matter how good you are on a particular day. just like Blair Waldorf. she dosent do anything which dosent benefit her. like scheming? luckily i didnt inherit that gene.
saying yeah people got gang MUST BE VERY SCARED OF THEM. then why the freak do you even associate with them? CANT U BE MORE DISCERNING? not that i dont open lines of communication. just when i think things are going fine YOU SHOW UR TRUE COLOURS. never spoken truer than a Bass. ( Bart Bass from Gossip girl. )
you make me SICK.
GO AND SAY WHATEVER TO MUMMY.dont think the years of damage u have done can be forgotten just like that.
people rememeber. I dont do blackmail. But i feel like doing it. (:
too bad i have school. if not. yeah. everyday on the phone, on the internet, on GOSSIP GIRL. ha. see if u can every say that I SUCK UP TO MUMMY. better watch ur words.
you irritate me everyday.

alls not forgiven.

morning alex. I can't sleeeeeeeep! Its 610 in the morning and all I can think about is sims! Thinking how I can make them live through extraordinary life. yesterday, ur kids allison and I forgot the guy's name went to school in cars. Their own! Damn cool. Then so far nobody has maxed the cooking, athletic, charisma and writing skill. But somebody is soon. so far I can't really make them go on dates cuz no expansion packS.):
Arg. Really hungry now. But nobody's downstairs and I thought I heard a burglar! hopefully not. Oh yeah. And kaymay and hyun jan junichi died alr. Damn sad. The family that was almost perfect. But dunno how come they broke up! That I don't understand. Through the sims gossip then I knew. ): but anyway, jean jan junichi also died. I Rmb her gardening in her undies ! She's the slimmest tan sim I created. Aiyo. I should create more and upload pics right?? (:


Gtg.

hey alex. I just feel that there are cancers in my life. very irritated by the stubbornness of people and their unwillingness to admit their Mistakes. Ahhh. Just saw u in sims fathering 5 kids! ((((: u were great. Ur fishing lvls are also quite high. just a waste that u can't really communicate through the com. If not..... (: I think I will be glued to the com the whole day. Felt sad today. That yeah he forgot. ok. My fault if he thinks I blew him off that day. Dunno why though I knew he was there but he didn't take the initiative to... Yeah. That's what's stopping me.. Guess I have to take a break, already am, from all those things. now I have to look around and appreciate those things I have and learn from new experiences. ! Wish u were here in replacement. Then maybe I will feel better. Instead of doing through taking care, it will be the other way around. But that will make me irresponsible, but at least, we have the same thinking, though we might be of diff countries. But we have adapted haven't we? People change. leave those lies, theft and anger behind. But I think I'm supposed to experience all these so that I will be wiser?? (: Haha perhaps alex. We all can be wiser. I gtg now. Please remind me to collect the banner.

love ,
Emily.