Heyzz.. AFTER SO MANY MONTHS. Im finally back. now with a different purpose and feeling. Alex&Jack, Im sorry to say that though you were my friends were for so long, you would only stay that way. GOD HAS TO COME FIRST. (: im proud to say that. but i'll only say it once cuz its well known that there's pride in humility. learnt that from Elder Seah. ttm he rocks.

I really thank God for directing me to a church so I can experience His glory and the peace I never had all these while. While you are lost out there searching for the things of this world to make you happy, you will never find it cuz this thirst will be unquenchable. I rmbered that time in June when i was walking with Jiang yuan in far east looking around. this sense of misery and hopelessness plagued me. i looked around searching for things to please the eye and found many but none satisfied me. the feeling SUCKS. I never want to return to the person i once was and that feeling was so empty and so unbearable. people may attribute it to the hormonal changes or just mood swings but its no pure coincidence that this feeling plagues you with a sense of foreboding.

I thank God that my church is sound in doctrine and the feeling of joy and happiness that had me when i visited sunset in the evening was priceless. no money or love or friendship can exchange whatever God can give us. when you actually experience the peaceful feeling you never want to let it go.

i admit. it was initially not easy to give up the things of this world esp if they catch onto you so quickly and dont let you go. The romantic suspense books, the magic vampire chinese novels, the druggy house music, gossip girl shows, taiwanese dramas... the list goes on.
God had given me a few reminders. good ones in fact. i thank Him for that. if without Him, i would still be lost in the wilderness and not experiencing the life He wants me to lead. Right now, life is still in the process of rebuilding and all is not a bed of roses. but I believe that God has a will for my family and He will do it His own way.
Im currently listening to Handel's Birthday Ode for Queen Anne. suddenly it comforts me as I think God as our eternal source of light divine.

Ive taken a few big steps, like going for camps and leaving God to help mama at home, going for tracting and to sunset. I dont want to start all over again.

God with you,
Emily.