today is 21-9-08. what a long time man. JACK REACHER! new ultra cool assassin.better than the average navy SEAL. hee.

dont feel very well now. sometimes when u try to get ppl to help u they just dont. I DONT UNDERSTAND. :( well. human beings are complex anyway.


-end of blog post!

towards rejuvination!

heyy! decided that i would type in orange today. ive got 3 minutes. today is a friday. 2 weeks of the jun e holidays have gone by
i never rmbered the june holidays going by so fast. this is madness. ugh.

let me tell you something interesting. try to multitask.

i believe this deserves to g o onto the blog.
today was bio spa day.
what a day. i cracked 2 capillary tubes and cut my hand, got 3 visking tubing and 2 strings. next
my calculator died. sin cos and tangent al canot press.
sigh
just because of this thats why i have to change the calculator? what a waste!
what to do. i think t his is the 4 th or 5 th one i have owned so far. oh yearh. my hand phone alreade gave up on me!
the sms function is not working.
HOT damn.
again.
if people know my mistakes in bio spa, then why do they keep harping on it ? hah
i dont want to complain but i cant help it.
so i decided enough was enough. each time they get together its like a damn hot furnace of hidden insults and derogatory terms. dont you feel it?
today was bad enough. what about their comments?
dont talk about mid yr and bring up all the corpses. but i dunt understand why they compare here and there and end up hurting feelings.

wel....benedict was quite sad today.
sad for him. hope he is okay.

coming back. when you are helping them and when they start to insult you in a way i dont think they know, then you';d feel quite sad and re luctant thinking : why am i putting in so mucheffort? its just not worth it.

reflecting again. you would reconsider and forgve them. thats what i always do.
cant afford to harp n it. right?
then. hearing the chines e flowing words from the tv, i get that feeling of remorse.

now that its coming to 9 pm. and that im getting tiredd; i wonder if id just fade into my world of ficticious charactors . the real world is not for u to enjoy at all. with those shady actions her and there and whn en people get close to you and all. this is ba d and irri ta ting.



hey alex. just wish you were here x)
Yours truly,,
chellest- like the broken glass

Heyy friends,
thought that is was time that i changed that depressing skin of mine.now is white and more positive right?
hehe dont bother looking at the last two posts that i posted. not really important. just no-sense thing. not worth listening to.

i must remind myself
not to cconstantly complain . life is much better with out it.
like how he keeps saying.
i can do it
right
.


at least somebody or people say that. at least in sch:) many people are out ther playing and im not one of the people in their group. but thats okay.
i can do it in other ways. dont worry .

like how i can imagine people walking down the streets. walking on the same path. gazing into each others eyes and smiling.
some people have the luxury to do that,
i dont think i need to . right alex?

my mother askd me if i wanted to marry you. guess what i said.
no thanks-you were not responsible enough,

speaking about you in past tense seems as though you are not there. but how real can you get?
again. people like us get disappointed. right jack?

people make mistakes- LIKE YOU AND VIOLETA AND MICHLELE that singer.
you do regret it. alex, rmb the time in flesh and blood- robin was jealous of that girl. saying you were to seduce her.

well. another mistake made. im supposed to be doing my english. right.
i guess i make mistakes too.
like how i scream and shout when im fed up.
i dont think they do that.
what we can expect of both of them is that they can go on with haarrneeymooning. SHOULD WE BOTHEr alex and jack??

lets ask the navy seals. they said not to bother.
actually, u know what i am really talking about?
i really dont like what they are doing.
seeing all those perfect couples in the world would just make you wallow in your sorrows and its just adding salt to the wound. do the wounds just multiply themselves?
i dunno. guess it just did.

mum said that it was correct and perfectly healthy and normal not to make you r male friend relationships in to a love one.

she is a superbly experienced person and i will never doubt her on this.
looking at the amount of controverseuy ( dunno how to spell) and resentment it creates. just tell them to stop it.
right in their face.

with that kind of disgusting things going on.
whos not going to bother.?! even if alex, you say that life is better ignoring them? YOUR So optimistic. jack? sigh. i have you on my table. so what to do?

rantings got to end somewhere.
let it go. . resentment is not going anywher.
POUND POUND POUND....... pound those feelings away.,
this new blogs purpose is just for the above line.
thank you for ur rapt attention.

i dont like this.
its every time in the holidays and i am disappointed yet again. asking me to go out with her and then she herself cant go?

sigh. i know that life is not all fair but at least if i can pay a visit to my dearest alexander and my anbc shop, i would feel abit better. all work and no fun? fun yeah. but i had some ....

mum says its peer pressure. everybody going out and all. father agreed to bring me out tomoro but how credible is he in the first place? heee
that oine i cannt voush for.

so many hitches and disappointments . like some friends i know getting a boyfriend helps them solve th8is horrible problem.

is it a problem or what?
more of a time waster. wasting more and more time, getting yourself into unnecessary trouble . waht a hasssle. i really dislike this kind of situation and its like the whole troupe of people marching together if we go but then thats why i dont like it. moments cannot be forced.

perhaps i just should drown in my world of combined humanities.

?heyy, its a long time since i posted this. writing in yellow now. Last post was what? December? Cool huh. but again. its not so cool now. so demoralised.

this year has been hard so far. usually i dont talk feelings on blogs. but well, i feel like breaking the rule now. XD

this exam has not been a total success but has for me a total failure. if im comparing.. IM always comparing. when am i not? to the past years. i think i rather go live in a mountain.
go hide away.

chinese exam in coming and i amhere posting. Vanessa probably has heard this A THOUSAND times from me in one variation or another. haha. sad case. she's probably the person who knows me quite a lot given being in choir and all. well i dont claim to be her confidante too!

like friends in this class. theyre quite nice. but sometimes because i find that there is an invisible wall that is hard to break through even if u stare into their eyes.
sigh life's like that.

im begining to sound like " DEPRESSIon " itself. well, dont u think i need alex delaware, my fav psych? you know what? his latest appearance is in compulsion. sigh. so nice.

changing the topic, i understand now why humans are the most complex beings. so totally astract and unpredictable. and they can influence each other . like how i see people getting the " magnetic INFLUX" by each other and sounding like each other. what a joke!

by the way, im not a fan of the word Jia you.
this is probably the coolest entry i had all along.

well, thats all. DEAR ALEX!!! when wil you appear?

...you will take my breath away.( ENG compre !)
.. yours truly,,

CHEllest.
towards Re-moralisation.

heyya. november's coming to a close. will you miss it?
I will. had a cousin over to my house today. hmmm. quite an interesting day i had today.
you know, sometimes, its just not fun to have people that are not really apreciative of what u have done for them. especially when u have gone tthru so much trouble to help accomodate them early in the morning. it "rocks" when u are awoken at 8.03 in the morning by a phone call.right. trying hard to sleep and there. ta daa. im awoken.just like that.

perhaps its just insecurity or what, i dunno, but its not nice to not give face to ur hosts by saying -ve things or feedback to what their actions are. all are +ve so far.havent done anything to mistreat. just dunno them. sometimes its fun when u just forget al the dicipline issues but its another thing altogether when they act up and say all sorts of things a- listers say. its not nice to brag to another ur kind.
imagine ur friend acting up infront of u . like la a lister. "COOL huh?"


all in all, its been a great eye opener, the best thing is,
we learn how to beter appreaciate the people around us, as they are nice for what they are. :)

heyyeah. im back. this time, with a new theorem.

The new emily theorem. Never ever play during any serious lessons or sessions. Especially hand games. Like CHI KO PA .It can really make u upset. sigh. was quite upset today. some people are like whatever when it comes to scoldings or feedback, but not me.
If u are in exco, u have reput. to maintain, whatever it is.So we have no choice but to be serious all the time. the most we can lighten up when during breaks or after choir sessions. But like Miss lim said, you are being watched all the time. Its really like " Always watching you" choir exco should start up a book on " being watched". Its really no fun, if u get what i mean.

even though u have finished a certain projj, it really is not finished, not like ymca's youth for causes, where finished-lets go. that kind of thing. We have to do follow ups . nOT fun. &there are always some members who are not always a piece of cake for u to handle. thats when we have to put on our thinking cap. ? any suggestions?

( im hearing jojo barking.right outside my house. tomoro he'll be gone. im tearing apart.)

lets put it this way: as sarah dessen says" LETS GET LOST"
but in reality, our job will never be done.

... so friends, let just do what we can.

Just do it. Nike.

hey ya. so the holiday has started. been quite busy with choir andschool business.
was at my neighbours yesterday and played with their dog.
I did nt like the dog at first, was very afraid of it. its partly due to the lack of xposure to animals all along. my brother was damn funny. he was more afraid of the animal than i was. when He himself opened the door to let the dog, JOJO, out he shouted and ran away. gues whhere he landed up? ontop of a dining chair. Was too hilarious. Joker.
I, couldnt do anything but to .. stand rooted to the spot, while the dog pawed away..
Slowly, he and I opened our hearts to the dog by playing withhim Fetch! as well as soccer with his favourite ball. I always hated this dog. The same dog that had been barking through the night, till 12 midnight, the same dog that had barked so fiercely at us when we were visiting, the same dog that was whining when locked up.
What i felt towards the dog after we left the house was in total contrast to what i initially felt.
while playing, the dog looked at me with those huge, brown eyes, begging me to play with him, to tickle him, to talk to him.
It really opened up a side of me to animals i had never thought i had.

After i left, i experienced a funny feeling. I actually missed that damned dog.
never had i thought i would miss an animal. It was so unexpected.
Though that dog may be leaving for good to another owner, on thursday, its beautiful face and glossy coat will forever be captured in my phone.

GOOD BYE JOJO!

heyy. Totally knackered today, sick like the devil and wished that my throat could be lined with some anti- infected lining. Not funny; having the flu. Its almost equivalent to having the SARS, dont u agree.
poor brother. went for mini-op, regarding the tongue. suffering like hell, but what is life without suffering? good that he has a higher pain threshold than i have. or not i'd be hearing a million complaints a second. (im good at that).
i've successfully kept this blog for 50 posts already, no thoughts of deleting it.
great job.

gotta jet
Chellest.

Heyya.
Its been another fruitful year of work and play.
Have u enjoyed it?
I have. The school term have officially come to a close, but school is never over for any one of us. Not our junoirs, seniors or teachers.
When ever do we get actual holiday?

In a nutshell, this year has been a rather interesting year.
I participated in SYF, Chem comp ( loved it), RMUN, Shanghai Exchange.
Had fond memories for each of them, never wil want for forget it. Chem comp was especially an eye opener, working with the 3 of them, never wil forget the rush and nervousness that we felt during the comp, the rush to complete the website and the nervousness to remember all our lines.
SYf was a great time for bonding between our members. It made us feel as though we were in the same boat, climbing the SAME BIG ROCK ( cough!*, courtesy to Mr liu), and nontheless made us feel more united. However, some unexplainable forces are pulling us apart and it is up to each and every one of us to get rid of that unholy force.

RMUN. whew, that was a really big challenge. we're like being thrown into the open sea, not knowing ANYTHING about it at all. went there like a huge DODO, but didnt feel that out of place, made some interesting friends of good character. Good thing was, we learnt that the best thing, to get the most out of this modules, especially when u have paid 50 bucks for it, is to attend every day of the session. I hate chickening out.

Shanghai exchange.. was rather less exciting as there was much logistics we had to do. Spoils the fun u know. Made some good in chinese friends down there, glad to have some overseas students i made friends with. spices up life.

gotta jet,
your;s truly
Chellest!

heyyyya. its going to be the end of school; we're just a week away. how far is that? is that real? ha. how interesting. its been almost one year,yet i feel that its just a couple of months. time really flies. not good. not. good. that means.. we;re going to sec4.
today... and the whole year has been fun. interesting.. I got to know few interesting personalities, from classmates of course. competitive, i got to agree, no less, no discount.
friendly, ... but again, how friendly can u get in3E6?
think again.

actually, quite happy i landed in this class. grateful for that. of course there are frictions, but ... again, in which class is there not any friction present?

TODAY: was an interesting day.
got a mark deducted cuz i spaced 3 spacing for chinese., supposed to be 2.
last year was 2 marks for 2 brackets. maths.
2 marks for not rejecting (NA) maths.

we did a cute imitation of JUMP IN! . we did the jumping of course. classmates were spontaneous.liked their attitude. we should have taken photos though. we had the unexpected guest of honour, Mrs v. interesting huh.



necks aching, gotta jet.
Your's truly.


CHellest!

heyy.
finished reading snowfall. its a really nice book. dated back to the victorian times.the book is sad, as charlotte, the main girl character runs away from her own home, and lives with friends she'd made on a hiking trip. her brother BEN, is reaallly nice. Ben champion to be exact.

u know fashionista-laura by sarah manning, its on my couch. the other book by her, the one " lets get lost" is nice. nicer than the book " good girls" by laura ruby.i found thebook quite empty as in not much feelings. hmmm. its an insight though.

its been a long time since i last posted. guess that'll be.
gotta jet. comps dying,

Yours truly,
chellest!

its the holidays!! Finally.
8.25 and fatigue is finally setting in. i tire easily.

To all dear 3e6 friends:
Assignment 3 for Trigo assignment is non-existent in the notes. It is on the teachers table, for those who may not know that Hui Lak had given it out. (Even i didnt know, well..) Its okay. Mdm ong said she will try to send the assignment thru SMS. Please spread the message!

For the chemistry assignment, there is something wrong with the supposedly good-tech server. It seems that the chem assignments cannot be downloaded. Miz Seah is doing someting about it. RIGHT. shouldnt it be bad tech for now? X)


To all choir friends:
The CIP is changed to friday,time not confirmed. As we are not allowed back to school for the 1st 3 days, cca wil have to "stand down". Good or what?

T0 the 75 guys on the list:
YOU ALL ROCK! til death and after that. X) dont worry, ther will be evenmore joining you guys soon. Go find christine feehan. she's your next idol. Onward!

Its teachers day. To all teachers: Enjoy your day while u can. its not every day that you get to enjoy.

HOT BOOK of the day: Inside girl, by J. Minter.
HOT SONG of the day: Without You, the beloved techno.

Gotta jet. time flies. birds fly.
DO YOU FLY?

The last thing any baby'd want, would be to have their sweets taken away from them. Same goes here.

Poem: [ acrimonioous] ps. it does not rhyme.

teachers, our model examples,
teaching us moral values,
dicipline, graciousness and integrity.

teachers,
matured, sensible and controlled.


is this the case?
I dont think so.

teachers- immature in thought,
who thought they could understand us.

good grief.

teachers who cross boundaries, does not UNDERSTAND us-
confiscating items, totally irrelevant.

teachers blowing things out of proportion.
thinking that they always correct,-
that students are always in the wrong.

teachers,
who think that they have all the control in the world.
as though they own us.

teachers, who always want us to understand THEM.
seeking our approval for lessons, and such.

reverse psychology or what?

Class of 3e6 'o7 sample photo XD.

heyya. its 9.51, pm. have decided to talk about my story of the [mango children]. even at the least expected places, fun can occur. what a wonder.
we were at the market, having collected my new glasses. we bought quite a number of things. i ended up carrying 3 plastic bags in each hand. fyi, we bought 5 cans of drinks- whatever and anything. it was on sale. buy 5 get 1 free. cool huh?
we passes by the busstop near the on-renovation community centre. suddenly, i saw something drop. it resembled a tennis ball. curious, my maam went closer for a better look. she exclaimed it was pong pong, a poisonous fruit. i dint quite believe her, so i looked at the leaves of the tree. as scss bore mango trees, i felt that its leaves were kind of familiar. i disagreed with her proclaimation and said i was a mango instead. all green and small. fairly cute. XD
i picked the fruit up and sniffed it. indeed my guessed was right. haha. the fruit had been justified. it was a MANGO. right in the middle of market. twin mango trees were found in that area.
guess what i did next.
my maam offered her slipper, as a tool for whacking the ripe mangoes down. as silly as her idea sounded, we adopted it.no harm done right? my adventurous brother, hit down 3 mangoes, and we had a total of 4 mangoes at the end of 7.15. hunh. i ended up dead beat but it was fun. we played a role of [mango children] for the day.

a bit about the story on [my new glasses]. its red and its fairly rectangular. the same old pair i used back in p6. love it. really pray that i can get used to the vision pretty soon. XD
i like the phillipino girl working at chew's optics. shes really friendly and nice. over the voice mail, her voice is really sweet. anybody who gets her is h.d-ed lucky. (hot-damned, btw.)

moving on to tommorow's schedule. Eeks! going to SAMH- oasis day centre to do CIP. from what i gathered from other classmates and from ym own experience, those ppl potentially pose a danger. super scary. i really hope that tommorow would turn out fine. about today, i managed to finish PHYSICS! holiday homework, with techno on. heh.

speaking of techno. the song, summer rain, the alex k remix is really nice. my maam says its so under indian influence... is it? how come i cant tell. hehh. got no books to read now,thats y im blogging. i finished aimee, its very very negative, and suicidal.

let me talk more about it. [aimee] the book by [mary beth miller] is h.d-ed depressing, it is discouraged. its about this girl, who is accused of her friends suicide, and her trial and her life living as a 'prisoner' under probation. shes not allowed any phone calls.. no past friends, no communication with her previous life. life as in life before her friend, aimee's suicide. in this book , there is only ONE mention of her name . ZOE. thats all i know of her name. there are instances in this book where she tries to end her life, like chewing on the insides of her cheek to inflict pain on herself, or where her friend , HOPE slams the door on her arm over and over again till it breaks. or whacking ur hand on the shower head till it cracks. got a nightmare becuz of this.
dreamt that a group of us were killing a friend. dunno why, but the phrase from the book; luckily i dint make a mess, all the blood went down the drain. repeated in my dream and i freaked when i awoke. gruesome i can say. shant elaborate. it gets too much. X(
my maam strongly discouraged me from reading this deluding brainwashing quote-unquote books, she commented that it'll brainwash me, and i'll become lyk that. suicidal all the time.always finding a way to inflict pain, that life is not worth going on. from the book" what do i have left to go on? i have been waiting, u have to help me, end it today. " and "where she had found the strength to pull the razor across her wrist" is h.d-ED suicidal and scary. reading it makes me feel as though im them.

constant reminders have to be sounded while reading these kind of books. usually this kind of books are nice if they have intrapersonal relationships, lets say between friends. that is nice and heartwarming, but then if then that is severly lacking, i feel that there is little to compensate for the violence and destruction that is present in the book. like wild rose by deb scarlatti is nice, very balanced. even though her stepfather is a schezio., but the presence of Ian waters totally changes the story. i love those kind of stories. i know I.P relationships cannot be present now, so reading them gives me an idea. like honey baby sweetheart, also by deb, is quite nice. the part where the grandmothers 'kidnap" her friend from the aged home is funny.

Semi-automatic wielding, flaming red haird grandmother, hijacking an 18 wheeler. tres cool huh.
a character from the stephanie plum, and motor mouth, series, by Janet Evanovich. There, grandmothers have never acted so young before. there are also some imitations, lyk the Sarah Strohmeyer , bubbles series. love her role as a kick-ass hairdresser. i can never do that. kick-ass? pigs will fly.

its late. mental prepartion for tommoro in progress. cya.

heyya. back again. now leaving me with approx 2 minutes to type the [story on my glasses].
sigh. now without glasses. waiting for the optician to fix it. mr fix it ya?
obviously.. my degrees for spectacles have changed. it has dropped by 25 to 50 degrees.cool huh?
so im told im one of the lucky ones who get a decrease in shortsightedness. but the pain of not wearing glasses for a few days comes along with it as well. hunh.
im reusing an old frame of mine, a red retangularish pair of glasses. guess it looks cool, without me wearing it! i tried doing physics today but failed terribly. apparently, my left contacts was overpowered, so anything in close focus caused dizziness. uber uncomfortable. dont try it at home. i felt dizzy and had a headache after 5 minutes. couldnt even press the numbers on the calc. pathetic ya. well. so was forced to give up homework. whereas homework on the comp was an exception. theres quite a distance form the compt and from ur eyes, so yeah, its not so bad.

got some new songs today. mostly techno. love them. dunno why, but orchestral music&techno dont quite make a good pair. still love them though.cascada is nice. try it.especially the [styles and breeze remix] it is super speedy. the one with the dj remix on behind this hazel eyes- the singer was tuned to hamster-chipmunk frequency&the song was going at 200 mph. pity the middle part was a rap, or else i'd tranferred it to my phone.

its already the second week of holiday. how many days are left till the rush returns?approx 16 to 18 days. honestly, i have tried reading the chinese book, however, reading and homework are not turning out well for me without glasses!

lucky ones, not having to change or go without glasses. envy is oozing out of the screen while reading this.its getting late. im dead beat. gotta jet.

your's truly!
CH'elles!

heyya!
its the holidays and after RMUN!. its kind of sad in a way that rmun has ended.its beyond words, the experience. now i feel 50 bucks is an understatement for the whole event itself.
the food sucks, but the ppl there dont.
we had d&d at the last day. RJC is h.d. big. walkingin court shoes is equivalent to walking to bugis in stilettoes. those court shoes bite. perhaps we should all follow mdm ong's advice and start biting the shoes be4 they bite them.
i still havent done my a maths 2 yet. wait for my glasses to be restored 1st. its becuz of the drop in my eyesight! thats y i had to change the glasses. changing to red glasses. nice i think.tres chic.
why i changed blogskins? cuz i felt that i should change it everyholiday. some kind of significance u know?

heyya! Rmun's coming.

okkay..these few days are tiring, but fun. i get to shop. for once.

Report book!
its fine actually. not anything surprising or suddenly out of the ordinary.

MdM Ong!
Feel sad and sorry for her that we have left such a horrid and unsympathatic impression on her. we have failed in understanding her , & have disappointed her badly.
WE'RE SORRY !!!

Rmun!
huge debate on whether to quit or to stay. so we decided to stay. got the dress code done and left one working paper to do. haha.

Piano!
exams are coming soon! pressure to practice scales from teacher. pieces are important too.

Friends!
settled quite an unsettling problem.



gotta go.